I’ve heard of a story that occurred at Woodstock in 1969
between Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix. Hendrix took the stage and performed one
of his miraculous songs while Clapton stood with the audience and in awe. After
the song, the story is that Clapton turned to someone and expressed his new
question, “What do I do now?”
That’s how training on the bike is and has been for a while,
especially lately. For as much control as I think I have over this behavior, I’m
not so sure I have as much control as I think I do. It must be the way I’m wired.
It must be Type A. If there were a Type A+, that would be me. Every night after
a ride, I am typically satisfied with my ride but by morning, that satisfaction
is long gone and in that new day I need to prove myself all over again. There’s
part of me that assumes the Clapton role and part of me that assumes the
Hendrix role to get to where I want to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m the
driver, sometimes I feel like I’m the passenger just watching the story develop
and in wonder of what I’m going to do next. It’s one in the same with my
analogy that what’s today’s ceiling is tomorrow’s floor and I continue like I’m
building a skyscraper. What was once satisfaction becomes the expectation. This
can somewhat explain why I continue to ride the way I do and lately has been no
exception. Suddenly, my typical 18K feet of climbing in Breckenridge every
weekend is not enough and I already have ideas for next summer to start at
night and end in the next day’s light. I don’t really have much of a choice. The
ceiling’s are brief and are almost always a barrier that our own mind has
built. Breckenridge training over the last 2 months, weekend in and weekend out
has been such an enlightening experiencing that I am still tremendously
confused about what has transcended and how my mind and body has developed in
ways that are overwhelming at times. If you don’t take your mind where it needs
to go, the body will never follow. So if there are barriers that are unbroken
and excused by excuses then there’s no way I will succeed. I’m about to
challenge myself with three 24 solos in 5 weeks beginning with Nationals next
weekend to see what I’m made up of. To see if all this internal dialogue is
true. To see if the belief in myself is limited or unlimited because honestly, I
think I’ve been searching for a roof that just doesn’t exist. If I believe I
can do anything I set my mind to, then that gives me the liberty to exhaust
that option.
Yesterday, I decided to add Nationals to my fall race schedule
so this should be interesting on many levels. I’m just unbelievably fortunate to
be alive and to have the ability to say there’s nothing I’d rather do with my
life than to race 24 solos against racers like Tinker Juarez, Cameron Chambers,
Josh Tostado, and Bill Martin, amongst others. In the next six weeks, I’ll be
racing against all of them. Nothing is certain and I have no clue what’s in
store, but I can be prepared. It may be hell but I’m so easily and unbelievably
motivated and inspired by so many entities and incredible people, that if I
need to put myself through hell to get to where I need to be, then hell it is.
See you on the trails,
Tim
